Joke of the day

This is one of my all time fav jokes... enjoy

A man flying in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

Reducing altitude, he spotted a man on the ground and descended to shouting range..
"Excuse me," he shouted. "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him a half hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below responded: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude."

"You must be an engineer," responded the balloonist.

"I am," the man replied. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

Whereupon the man on the ground responded, "You must be a manager."

"That I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in the exact same position you were before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."


Todays joke of the day was brought to you by the letter K and the number 13.

Hahaha, that's great Here's one of my favourites:

A Frenchman, a Swiss, a US dentist, and a Lawyer from New York sat next to each other in a train. The Frenchman took a bottle of wine from his bag, tasted some of it and then poured the rest out through the window, saying "France will never run out of good wine."

Next, the Swiss took some cheese from his bag, bit some, and the threw the rest out from the window, saying "Swizerland will always have good cheese."

The dentist thought that he must show that there's something that is always available in America. So he grabbed the lawyer and threw him through the window.

thats a good one too

I love this one..


After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man
departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the
next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were
looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately,there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the
man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal
to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the
problem and it would do no good to complain.



Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was
having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as
Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would
arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool
off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an
error in the e-mail address. His message therefore arrived at the home of
an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day
before!



When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the
monitor, let out an anguished scream,and fell to the floor dead. Her family
rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:



Darling XX,



Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at
the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival
tomorrow.



Your loving husband.

Brilliant

three scientists, a physicist, biologist and a mathematician, are sitting in a room, observing the house across the street.

first, two persons come into the house, and a while later, three persons leave the house. each of the scientists has his explanation of this situation:

P: it must be a measurement error.

B: the two persons that come in probably gave birth to the third..

M: if exactly one person enters the house now, the house will be empty..

;)

// note: sorry for the bad translation into english..

Here's a really bad math joke:

Q: What's the contour integral around Western Europe?

A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!

Thats A Good One

Outstanding jokes

My all time favourite
-----------------------

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!!
The very angry looking Genie said, ''Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!''
The suprised man said, ''OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.''
The genie replied with a smirk, ''Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen.''
The man said, ''Fine then, I want to understand women.''
The genie said, '' Would you like two lanes or four?''

Four lanes please, with occasional espresso stops along the way.

Love that last joke.